the three types of trust – OR – HOW DEEP IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

  • We all want to trust those in our lives, but without an understanding of the different levels of trust we can often end up feeling let down, or possibly even betrayed.
  • Knowing the different levels of trust will enable you to have more effective trust in your life, and consequently enable you to take your relationships to deeper levels.
  • So what are the three levels of trust? They are:
  • Operational trust,
  • Shadow trust, and
  • Brilliant trust.
  • Operational trust is when individuals consistently follow through on their commitments and agreements.
  • Shadow trust involves recognizing and distinguishing between personal issues and one’s true self, allowing for true intimacy and understanding.
  • Brilliant trust is living authentically and inspiring mutual growth and expansion in the relationship.

Thinking there’s only one kind of trust can get you into a lot of trouble. This trouble comes from thinking that, because you can trust someone at one level, automatically means you can trust them on all levels. Sadly, this isn’t always the case.

The first thing you need to understand is that faith isn’t trust, though it can sometimes lead to trust. Faith is based on a hope of trust. You could say it is a positive expectations without prior experience. It is the possibility of trust, not trust itself, because trust is a positive expectation with prior experience. We know that positive expectation can be relied on because there’s a pattern there of it having been met. Confusing faith and trust is like confusing hoping for good with knowing good things are coming.

So when that pattern of good things is there it means we have trust, but we also need to know what kind of good thing there is to know what kind of trust we have. In operational trust you know the person will do what they say they’re going to do. If they say they’re going to pick up the milk on the way home you know it’ll be done. This level of trust ensures a relationship is functional, because without operational trust it’s not a relationship you can rely on in any way. There’s nothing solid enough to build on. Not really.

The second level of trust is shadow trust. The basis of this means you know the difference between your sh!t and your shiny. You know when you’re operating from your true self and when you’re expressing your baggage. Shadow trust is based on your ability to discern the difference between your stuff and Who You Truly Are so your issues aren’t projected onto others, and neither are you judged for having issues. When both sides of a relationship can discern between the true self and the baggage, and relate to the true self while appropriately handling the baggage, then that’s a relationship with true intimacy. This is what creates a safe space where you can be real about what’s going on for you, while at the same time being supported to be your best self. When shadow trust is in play it means we not only keep our agreements (operational trust) but we ensure it is our best self that is making those agreements in the first place.

The third and deepest level of trust is brilliant trust. As you enable Who You Truly Are to make your choices more and more you’ll get to live more from your best self, your most brilliant self. When you’re living from who you really are, and supporting others to live from who you they really are, you create a wonderful relationship based on mutual expansion and mutual inspiration. Your brilliance inspires those you’re in a relationship with to be more brilliant, and them being more brilliant inspires you to be more brilliant. This creates the synergies and synchronicities of joy. These are truly fun and deeply spiritual relationships, no matter if they’re labelled ‘spiritual’ or not. This is because both of you are growing in the relationship. This kind of relationship can last a lifetime. Maybe even beyond that. It’s a relationship in which you’re not just compatible now but you’re growth is also compatible growth.

Only the deepest relationships include all three kinds of trust.

To learn how to create the deepest relationships check out The Soul’s Brain: the Neurology and Logic of Your Intuition.

For the video go to the Living Intuitively channel and remember to subscribe while you’re there.

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